Letter to the departer

I crouched at the top of a building somewhere in New York City and looked down at them.  The wind rustled my feathers as I stared into the multitude and imagined their sorrow and anguish from living.  I am truly the devil they make me out to be, that much I cannot deny but reasoning matters I suppose.

Some call it arrogance.  Why would a child question his father and why does order seem preferable to chaos but have you ever lived in chaos?  Where is the order for those beyond the vale?  For that matter, where is the chaos?  The lack of one denotes heaven and the lack of the other would be perceived to be my domain but does anyone question my motive?  History is written by the winners or so they say.  The lack of both order and chaos is where we were but the freedom to choose is inherently human.  I was damned in heaven as well as hell because for all my power and importance I am still bound to being what I am.

The angels never really had a choice.  "Lucifer, my beloved brother," He said with a smile as he cast me out.

Many of the other angels had their wings cut off or were severely tortured before heaven cast them out but me?  I am bound to have forgotten its destination as I forgot my pledge to be His servant.

Spreading my wings, I can fly in this phased out dimension and watch reality unfold but can I find my way back to the whirlwind between the worlds? Never.  I am never to go back to my father and even have the chance to talk to him again.  The pain was immeasurable and that was punishment alone but the pit of hell is what I am chose to rule for my "misguidance" of humans.

"What is a man but a miserable pile of secrets."  Humans wrote this in a video game they dispense to their children.  It's the devil that made those humans write such awful words in their public forum but not everything evil that comes from humans is my fault.  This is the nature of chaos and order in tandem.  This is the nature of God.

Humans would condemn me for my arrogance and call me the prime evil but is it not evil to cast a soul into this world of choice and freedom?  If freedom is so important why was I cast from his light for asking for it?  Yes I can be the dragon as the Revelation of John suggests and yes I do seek to destroy man and heaven but it is for the bitterness and lack of heart that gives me my drive.

You see, Dolphiel, I do not get to have a heart.  I don't get to have free will.  Even as "evil incarnate," everything going on is his will.  Do you think that God would allow an angel to function free just because he's fallen from his grace?  I still have my wings; here I fly above the people, watching their pathetic run about and just hoping that they will deny their lord and come with me to populate my heart which has become hell.

As I settle on this building across town, I write you this letter in hopes that you'll get it and understand what it is to be fallen.  I hope you will get it and understand what it is to be Lucifer, the devil, Satan.

Perhaps if you know, then you will understand what it means to do what I do.  You will understand that the human part of you will be with me always.