Part XIV: The death of innocence
"Dolphiel. Wake up, Dolphiel."
As I opened my eyes, I saw the plane of existence. By that I mean I saw the chaos that was the existence of all things before all things existed.
First, there was darkness; such blackness as cannot be comprehended by anything describable. God was not attached to anything in this world so falling from grace and the absence of Him in a fallen angel was the closest one might come to describing this blackness. One word that would come close would be absence; the absence of God, the absence of the angels, the nothingness and lack of sensation that breaches even death.
The feeling weighed on me as I watched this and as my nothingness began to burn, the voice that had awoken me made a sound like a child's pop gun. In that instance, there was, all of a sudden, a gathering of compact and minute lights. They were not arrayed like stars but rather focused into a small area like sheep in a pen.
I heard them speak. My step-brothers began to sing. They sang in joyful chorus, which brought light unto this rather compact area. They were only talking to each other but the light of god within them gave so much power to their voices, they could scarce do anything but sing; once the song had begun.
The reverberation was so sonorous that the whole of existence began to swell and as the voice which had awakened me began to yawn, the area of those tiny lights expanded exponentially.
All of a sudden the universe was astir with singing and lights flying in every direction. The stars were formed by the sweating of the angels and lights all over filled the great expanse of this new existence.
For a long time, there was peace and happiness and angels dwelled in the great expanse but they felt the universe and some even questioned god: "what is all this for?"
This was the right question because shortly after, the whole Genesis of man's existence was born. It took a long time to even get to man's existence but as they arrived, so did the magnificent gifts god gave to them.
Most of the angels were overjoyed to have such frail creatures to Sheppard but not everyone saw them as frail. Those who didn't, even saw them as an insult or as a threat to the kingdom of heaven so they rebelled.
I saw god's most beloved Angel stand by his side and as he received all the praise and love of god, he became so full of himself that he saw himself as beauty beyond man and eventually beyond god. His hubris was seen by his brethren and though a third called him king, all fell from grace who did.
A third of my step-brothers looked at Lucifer and loved him above god and my step-brother Michael took the multitude and war broke out to shake the heavens with god's wrath.
The voice that had awoken me started weeping like a wounded child. He wept as strongly as history would ever see him weep again for I had heard this voice before and knew him.
As I watched brother slay brother with weapons as fierce and savage as any that man could create, I watched the multitude crush this misguided and vicious rebellion with seraphic ferver. The anger of god and his betrayed heart reigned strong and gave Michael the advantage over his brother Lucifer. Though Lucifer was so filled with self-agrandizement, he cowered in fear in the face of his angered father and fell under the spear of Michael with little more than a whimper.
For all of Lucifer's rebellion, it was no more, in the end, than sound and fury signifying nothing. As he fell, I watched his face and I felt his heart and the voice that had awoken me disappeared.
Where that holy voice was, the voice of another who was as beautiful as anything holy turned to ugly resentment. His heart cried as his eyes wept and he knew what he had done. He was awakened as Adam and Eve to the sadness and reality of a harsh world. It was as if he had eaten the forbidden fruit himself and all of a sudden, he knew all things like no angel ever had or ever would. This realization made him painfully aware of the cruelty of his actions towards his god but it also made him see that there was no forgiveness for angels and because of this, he became even more aware at the imbalance of god's love towards man as opposed to god's demand on the angels.
He hated man for all these things and blamed man for him and his brothers fall. He blamed god for the situation and realized man's importance if he was ever to take back heaven for him and his fallen brethren. In this, he awaited the day that he could corrupt a Nephelim or even show his feelings and point of view to one who was part man and part angel.
As time went on, I saw myself and my transcendence. I saw Lucifer watch this and realized that I had felt him out of the corner of my eye as it happened. He had only awaited my doubt and now I was aware of why that voice which had shown me all this wanted me to know.
As the visions began to fade like a dream on the back of my eyelids, the last thing I heard was, "I love you, my child, for all that you are. In the coming end, I hope you make your choices with your eyes open. This is all any father can ask of his child. This is all He can ask for ALL of His children."
