OFFICIAL STATEMENT

The following message reads as dictated from Col. Ronald T. Harris of Baton Rouge LA to Stg. Michael Wayneright of Chicago IL. Their position at the time of dictation was unknown but is assumed as well into the country of Cambodia in Eastern Asia.

Boy... I mean Mikey... Mike or do you prefer Michael? In any case, I want you to copy this down as if I made it, y'see? I want this to be read to my kids, kids as if grandaddy was telling it to 'em, ya get me? Mike, what have I gotten myself into this time? Promise me you'll change that bloody outfit before you recount this tale. Oh I talk too much. Well, here goes:

Back in my war days, I used to tell the boys who were waiting to ship out, in officer's bar in Saigon: "you gonna wind up like Mikey," and I don't think any of 'em ever got it. You see, they'd all joke and clown about a lot but I only told this to the strong ones.

Of course, all they saw was that Mikey was a lower pay grade and they thought I meant that they would end up on the bottom of the barrel like Mikey: Doing the grunt work, digging out the latrine and making dirt pay to do it; what they didn't see is that the reason Mikey was assigned so many tasks, regardless of how much he made was because Mikey was the fastest to dig a trench or a fox hole; he was the quickest to go from cover to cover, he got the most consecutive gook kills and at the end of the war, he was the only one of those bastards still alive. That said, that last one is an achievement I couldn't even attain. I wish I had "been like Mikey" in that regard...

You take this message back to Saigon now. You survive and don't make a liar out of me. Be an example to my boys.

ADDENDUM:

I dug a fox hole just like he always told me I could and covered it with leaves. Then carried his body on my shoulders until I hooked up with an attachment at the border and we got on a bird to head back to Saigon for debriefing. On my way back, I had been hit in the calf by grenade flack but the wound wasn't as serious to me as it was to the medics. I was discharged to bring this letter home and am available for comment in Washington DC at REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS.

Sincerely,
Stg. Michael M. Wayneright

Breaking the mold

Chapter 7: Molding a Human Brain

The synaptic functions of a human mind are extremely complex and even in a child brain, the wiring must be worked with delicately or you will kill the form you hope to become.  The easiest path, but difficult unless you see human beings the way I do, is to determine using heat signatures and the x ray spectrum who's actually pregnant at about 4 weeks old.  The brain of that adolescent will begin to develop at 5 weeks according to my research.  Therefore, what I essentially do is unplug that life before it begins and take over the human process of brain and spinal cord development according to the infant  blue print that can be found on most scholarly doctoral databases.

Due to the fact that I was not an infant when I became the form that I am, I had to truncate my molecular structure to fit the human form.  Even the child's body had to be enlarged in the development process in order to properly configure my consciousness into the humanoid structure.  This one that the humans call god must have been an incredible archetect because the complexity of building this body was one that took tremendous amounts of energy to acheive and even at that, I had to borrow amounts of energy from this child's mother just to properly develop.  In the end, however, the majority of the genetic sequencing was provided to me and all that was left was wiring in my own brain functions into this body.

The higher brain functions were too much for the human mind to handle.  After all, I had the vast knowledge of the cosmos stored in my individual atoms but ironically so did they, they just were born blissfully unaware of the phenomenal cosmic powers they were made of.  Forgive my non-sequitur but it is important to note that human beings, unlike the Taylorn possessed an evolutionary trait that made them so formidable that they even viewed each other as enemies.  Whereas my people viewed black wings as simply a difference in life position, human beings viewed such things as superior and inferior. It was as the japanese humans would refer to as ero-guro.

Ero-Guro translates to beautifully grotesque which I feel, as I began wiring myself into the container of a US diplomat's wife, aptly described human beings.  They had the potential for great good and great evil and as I described before, as energy beings we had no distinction between the two.  However, as I began to wire myself into the confines of a human spawnling, I began to feel not only human emotions but specifically, the emotions of this human mother to be.  She was kind hearted and had become a diplomat's wife through her devotion to international diplomacy as opposed to a desire to hold political power.  She gave more than she took and as I had observed in the international databases of Earth, she was truly a rare breed amongst the species of earth.

For 7 months and 3 weeks longer, I would grow in her stomach as she strained us both by continuing to work on some great international agreement of peace and prosperity between more than one violent culture.  She enjoyed books and that knowledge due to the nature of my connection with her during my initial occupation was translated to me through her synaptic impulses into my developing mind.  I had no idea what it was at the time but as I began to understand emotion, in that primordial soup, I realized that I loved her.

Love was a strange emotion and whereas it had the broad application of the formless Taylorn, it could be as secluded and limited as the human mind.  The more human I became, the more I forgot about the knowledge I had of the cosmos until one day, as I smelled the air of the human world through a human nose and realized that I barely knew that I used to be Taylorn let alone that I used to be formless.

Getting to understand Earth was not an easy task either.  Human beings were apparently not the only creatures on earth as a dog I greeted was a little off put that I knew how to speak telepathically which is how dogs communicate.  They are not engaging speakers either, as the one i greeted was afraid at first and then immediately thought only of the hot dog that the human who called me "dada"viciously consumed.

There were many other animals around this planet as well.  Lions do not care for Humans at all, they have nothing to say to us and although this one stared at me through the glass of a window at the Bronx zoo, I feel as though he was envious more than willing to talk.  Speaking of the zoo where many of these animals from around the globe seemed to reside, the humans seemed to enslave even species that were genetically similar to themselves which I found barbaric as we passed by the primate enclosure.

In my first year of life, there would be many unusual traits of humans but after a day at the zoo and 5 weeks of life, it was time I once again enjoyed the only connection to my people I could enjoy: dreaming…

Breaking the mold

Chapter 6: A choice to make

After attaching myself to the tallest energy giving structure on this blue planet at the time, I climbed down through the electrical conduits to observe these strange creatures all around me.

It occurs to me that man could not comprehend what it is like to look at the world as pure energy.  I will attempt to explain but I cannot promise a good explanation.  Man was a vibrant spectrum of color to me.  Heat represented its self as a color yet, those colors could be felt as well.  Blue was a particularly somber and cold feeling and I say this literally.

My physical form was not even able to be seen unless someone happened to have a mass spectrometer on hand. To explain why, I simply need say, "have you ever seen a cell phone signal?  Have you ever seen radio waves?  Have you seen the static electricity and electrical waves that exist all around you and inside your body?  If the answer is no to any one of those questions they you would not be able to see me even though in a certain light, I can see you.

I could see the whole world; feel the world and though one would need a working knowledge of theoretical physics to understand what I was and what I was seeing, it was clear to me that I had stumbled upon something magnificent.

Earth had such vibrant life.  It experienced things with a softer hand than was dealt the Taylorn.  Human beings were so many shades of grey in the metaphysical world and yet they were shades of every other color in the physical one.  It was magnificent the intricacies that Taylorn males and females would have discarded for their complication.

Man was talented and his eccentricity built upon even things that were supposed to simplify his world.  The energy waves on this planet were all so diverse.  On my home world, it is true that we had our pleasantries but everything seemed to be boiled down to such simplicity that waves never crossed and energy was diffused into everything for maximum efficiency.  Humans threw a lot away.

In my travels, I came across a waste heap so large that it was said by locals to be visible from space.  The universe was humongous to a human mind.  While traversing their vast network of computers I learned all about trivialities that they worshipped like the invention of the... I-phone... and important concepts that they tossed out like the invention of soap.  I learned that they had a concept of lying and cheating and people did not have a set place on their planet once they'd chosen a path.  There was nothing so enthralling as the magnificent chaos of mankind.

There were downsides though.  There was war over ideals like patriotism, that my society would dismiss as trivialities.  There was mass breeding and the population swelled.  There was famine and disease as people depended on their earth to take care of them and abandoned their technology to produce results.  They protested things that might help their society grow like the stem-cells that existed in their bodies, and would have thought our society mad for the willing participation in chemical castration after a couple's first two children.

There was emotional decisions made by man like wars to go after one man, and this may have hurt the society at large but he never-the-less excelled at what he was able to control.  Emotional decisions didn't always bring bad things either: the sweet surrender of a man on his knees in front of his god was a practice that if used right and moderated and agreed on by the masses, could make for a beautiful and functioning society.

By this I mean that religion brought conflict when people held it to the standard that one was better than the other or one god/set of gods was more right than another.  The bottom line for a functioning spiritual society was a belief in a higher power than one's self from any origin.  The conflicts over who was right were irrelevant but because of the emotional connection, this brought about conflict over this particular issue in human society.  Not all feared this "god" being who said "thou shalt not kill," and I see this fact as the only way that this concept of religion would be feasible, I suppose that's the nature of choice.

So man was emotional and irrational but he certainly had a magnificent society; it was not as streamlined as the Taylorn home world but certainly as high functioning.

As I pondered these things or rather went over billions of scenarios and tried to calculate a next move (this was the closest thing an energy being could have to emotion) I began to see that I would never be able to understand these creatures more than their logical application until I saw through their eyes.

For weeks I observed them from many different spectra of energy.  I studied their physiology in their computers for 15 years before making the connection on how to become one of them.  The process was dangerous and the conversion nearly impossible but it came down to the synaptic electrical functions in a human brain.  My electrical functions had been scattered and this is what caused me to be the energy being that I was but what if I had a template?  A guide to put them back together?  The bottom line was there in plain sight but what the human mind could not configure, I could.

The only problem was that an adult mind was completely wired and had no wiggle room to reconfigure the synaptic impulses.  This is where I found out that I would have to start from the beginning, I would have to be born as a child and do the entire human life from beginning to end.  There was no guarantee that I would survive when that human body left this world but I suppose I would have to wire a trigger in my mind to remind me of what I was so that I could rebuild the matter transporter that would give me back eternal life before this ephemeral human one burned out.

Breaking the mold

Chapter 5: The conversion

It occurs to me at this juncture that I have left out an important detail to what I am and the story of my people.  I left out the quintessential part that I mentioned in the beginning of this story and then forgot to explain.  I left out why I am not the only one.

In the beginning of our evolution, there was only myself and my father who went from Taylorn to pure energy.  As time went on, our race searched for us and our experience produced a sense of duty to evolve the rest of our bretherin as we had been evolved.  First, however, we had to find a way to communicate with them as pure energy beings can only communicate with each other when we try to do it directly.  The Taylorn were not capable of telepathic speech as most of the extra terrestrial movies try to claim.

For weeks, my father and myself tried inhabiting our brethren which killed a few and simply didn't work with others and the strange deaths only made people afraid.  There was talk amongst our people of a dark time that had come to the Taylorn and a viciousness that befell them because of unforseen forces.

There really was no god amongst my people.  Not because we didn't believe in a higher power but simply because each of us had our own interpretation of the same thing and it had not been a priority to a people who didn't think like humanity did.  So when this dark time came and Taylorn began to die because of our attempts to possess them, they viewed it, at least at first, as a defect of their science and then of nature and then finally evil spirits and a higher power punishing the Taylorn for their rapid advancement.

As an energy being, we felt what was described by some as god.  We felt the nature of the universe and the physics that moved all things.  A burning bush that didn't burn, as described in the human bible would be the only way that a god could exist without us sensing him because nature and physics was us.  To be god was to be what we could not explain or be a part of and even as pure energy, there was a lot.  God existed to us as energy because of the Holmsian quote, "Once all that is possible has been eliminated, only the impossible remains."

I digress again.  At last I stopped my father from his attempts at communication through direct contact and steered his consciousness towards a more indirect means: the electronic communication.  Electricity and technology are a requirement for any civilization that becomes advanced enough to call its self a civilization and my people were no different.  We had communications arrays and space stations and vast technological resources. Just because we had wings on our backs and our devices were slightly larger to fit our differing physiology and sociology doesn't mean that we ceased to explore.  We had been to the outer edges of our solar system but because of the huge expense and material needed to construct one of 2 ships we had with the capability, we had halted at a slow incline of growth.

The idea of a matter transporter as my father saw it hadn't even been considered for space to ground yet and the entire idea was still revolutionary for its time.  However, for us to get it to work again, we needed a corporeal creature to understand its value and to put the process into action.

[Father, do you remember the formula still] I communicated.

[Son, you know that we never forget in this form. You are now the imprint of all life lived past present and future; although we are an echo of what they would consider living. What would you suggest for communication?]

[Father, we are energy. We exist as the one thing we knew how to play with as corporeal beings.]

[You suggest manipulating machinery. What crass communication. Allow me to try something else first.]

In my young and petulant state, I went forward with my plan and reached a few Taylorn with the message but his show was so much more grand.

With his form, he became heat and began to light up the rocks in the houses of every Taylorn as a message began to burn into those walls of every Taylorn in our entire civilization. He became the planet and began to transmit fierce lightening bursts through the clouds that formed messages and spoke to those who saw it as they soared from cliff side to peaks. He became a mist and rewrote some Taylorn brain signals which are essentially electricity and sent a vague message inside their brains (so as not to fry them like before) to build and use the device that made us what we were.

The things he did could be interpreted by the weak minded as a message from God but we knew that God would have been far more impressive than utilizing energy in a closed system. It's simply a matter of size. A planet is relatively small when you're pure energy as well as the laws of physics which dictate that in a closed system like our planet that was surrounded by an atmosphere, all energy was connected.

That being said, if my father had done something like create energy that wasn't already there or try to do all those feats at once, it might have been impossible but doing it very rapidly and one thing at a time was exhausting and draining but possible. By the time he was done, he had to regenerate by draining power from several cities to get back to normal and still be hindered enough to restrict him from transference travel.

This may need explanation. Transference travel is the words I use to describe to you as humans: adapting energy to our forms and becoming that energy at any point in the universe. We know it simply as a concept but humans have such colorful language and labels that I thought I'd give it a try. Do you like it?

Digression. In any case, this display was enough to lock my father to our planet for at least 100 years but for me? I used no energy adapting a computer to spell out my message. In fact, I gained energy by draining the computers of their current while I spelled out our message on the screen. Just enough energy to transfer travel to a little blue rock lightyears away called earth.

The process went quick once our entire civilization got the message. Most of them got my father's message though. At least 99% of my people ignored me and heard him. I would venture, however that 99% of those Taylorn would also not venture out into the universe when they became energy beings. Only a small fraction of them were explorers. I knew because the last thing I did was watch the glow of light on the surface of my planet as I was surrounded by light and the quiet glow of a sunrise from the Burj Khalifa in Dubai.

Breaking the Mold

Chapter 4: Born in Exile

Being born conscious is what it means to touch the veil.  Who was this child whose life I would replace?  Where would the life inside of him go?  These were questions I didn’t know how to answer.  The being that I was, I didn’t care enough to answer them because “right and wrong” and “up and down” are corporeal concepts that are limited to the creatures that are fallible because of dimension and mortality.  I experienced neither and the only thing I truly feared was that what humans know as god and what we know as, “the benevolent and unexplainable force that allows us space and consciousness as pure energy”; or that’s how one would describe it if it weren’t more of an understood concept than something definable. I feared that this might one day not exist and I would cease to be.  I enjoyed existing and I think, as humans enjoy not being dead, so too we enjoy existing.

               Death is not a concept known to one of pure energy.  How can one fathom an end when there is only a sure time of beginning with patches in between that can only be defined as a loose concept?  As I remember being born, I think of the struggle that it was just to become a living thing.  There are hundreds of ways that being born can kill you and I suppose the same can be said of the process that made me pure energy.  One wonders how many others, who tried devices to teleport themselves, simply exploded and were no more?  How many of them simply met death and that was it?

               I digress as I ask too many questions in my story but life is full of more questions than answers.  A person’s day can go, “I woke up, had some cereal and played video games until I went to bed,” as many of my childhood days would be in this life I was about to undertake, but then there are questions within something even as simple as that.  How many opportunities did I miss by not interacting with other people?  Would this young, portly version of me have been better with a walk rather than a video game?  What percentage of my enjoyment of said video game were my own enjoyment and what percentage was enjoyed simply because I was able to connect with another human being who had spent the same ill-conceived day as me, on this video game?  Then there were deeper questions that human beings never asked such as was this part of some greater plan?  If I had gone outside those long days inside, maybe I would have gotten hit by a car, suffered heat exhaustion, been hit in the head and lost the ability to conceive my own ego.

               So many questions that make up our lives and we never ask or answer them because it’s easy to worry about things known. I know I can get hungry; I know I can die; I know I have a strong sexual urge and that the girl telling me to go into the tent alone with her might lead to satiating that urge.  This is the simplicity of the average human and with this corporeal form I had taken, I realized that I had come in contact with a civilization that was far less interesting than my own… or was it?

               By mid adolescence, I had begun reading books that evoked emotion and I began to experience wonder in the most mundane things.  With the birth of my human child, I experienced love in a way that no energy being ever could.  I experienced a different more shallow and animalistic view of beauty than my people ever had.  The passion of these beings was unmatched and as an enlightened one, I had long debates over things that were higher minded than video games and as my groups of friends evolved so too evolved my toys.

               The most interesting thing about humans to me was their hesitation.  When there was a decision that could benefit the whole of their society, they weighed concepts and liquid ideas with decisions.  There could be the most elaborate order in the chaos that was man. 

               A question like should we take unused stem-cells and use them to cure diseases like we never were able to before, was debated in courts rather than a small gathering of arbiters making decisions based on absolute logic.  To humanity, life was not a puzzle; it was a painting and one that took the entirety of their existence to paint.

               In my 27^th human year, I began to recall what it was to be a Taylorn and then also what it felt like to be in this foreign form. I remembered the feeling of power and prowess that came from being high born and yet as a human I was serenely focused on being unfocused and different with sore spots on my back where I felt my wings should have been.  I remembered my beak and felt it like a phantom limb the same way I perceived my wings.

               My empathic abilities were also intensified as a human. As a Taylorn, we had the ability to sense others around us and their intents as an instinct; as an energy being, we communicated telepathically so empathy was simply an added bonus because energy beings do not have emotions but humans have them like an overflowing teapot.  A telepathic connection, however dulled, could easily pick up on emotion and they were everywhere.  The little child pining over a fallen ice cream scoop, the investor pining over a net loss of $500,000.00 and how he would pay his child’s tuition; the great sorrow of humanity was overwhelming but there was also great joy.  A child who gets to go out for their birthday to the water park; a man who catches his child’s gaze for the first time; such joy as the latter could never be described as just joy but the point is made.  Experiencing a walk in the park was a dizzying experience for me if I did not distract my mind and senses with something.

               Then there was sex.  Taylorn women and Taylorn men had sex as an animal instinct.  It was no different than the rage of battle or the need to breathe air when one has been submerged underwater.  In this right, men and women were prone to having concubines for the soul purpose of sex and nothing else.  Did my father love my mother? Of course he did.  He did not want anyone else to be with but when she was having issues that made her not want the sexual urge, he went to places and others he could relieve himself with and they understood this in written contract that came with all Taylorn marriages.  Human beings have such great passion and emotion that it does not surprise me that they channel at least some of it into their sex lives.  Who damns the success of a man quite like a woman can?  Pitiful creatures…  Both sexual urges were archaic to us when we became pure energy though.  Sex was not required as energy is constantly created and destroyed in space as the parameters of physics allow.  There’s no need for sex and even the urges of a solid being are weeded out so that neither species that I have been is included.

               Questions and opportunity, desire and want, a sensual nature; all of these were paltry pleasantries enjoyed by man.  The Taylorn shared some of them as well but to devolve to something so ephemeral was, at best an experiment in futility.  Why did we exist was the question that human beings always asked and if I had to answer it, I would say, “…because the will of the universe which is conscious and alive provides us the space to exist and to ponder.  At our very core, it allows us to experience things that we might never have thought possible.” That was my answer for humans and Taylorn alike but my answer for what I never could escape, the energy being, the highest form on the evolutionary scale which I had experienced was a world of difference.  Why do we exist? “Energy beings exist because of a mistake in a matter transporter which gave us the ability to be a part of all things.  We exist to lubricate and experience existence itself.”

               I stopped in the park where I sat on a bench under a blue light and looked out onto a vast pond, pondering all these things.  “We exist to experience existence itself…”  In a way, I was experiencing existence by looking at things through a human’s eyes.  The only reason I even made it this far out into the universe was because matter and energy existed here, similar to that of my own planet.  On our planet, we had an Oxygen/Nitrogen balance in the air that we breathed and our sun also gave off ultraviolet radiation which caused temperatures on our planet to stay between 50* and 90* depending on the season.  There was also electricity in the air that was similar to earth.  Through the clouds, great bolts of blue lightning struck the hillsides in times of stormy weather.  There was rain and there was water and the elements were in sync with the planet.  Although I never ventured to the oceans on our world, I imagine there were currents similar to those of the earth and that life existed similarly to that of the earth although its inhabitants evolved differently.

               It was because of these things that I was able to adapt to the earth and look in at human beings with the desire to try and become one.  It was because of these things that I did become one and as I looked through their eyes, it was because of these things that I missed the energy being I would have to find out how to become again.

Breaking the Mold

Chapter 3:  Through the eyes of a "god."

It is almost impossible to describe what it is to be nothing, or at least nothing that one would realize as a sentient being.  When you are nothing, you exist for the soul purpose of serving the laws of physics.  You become married to the concept; Physics tells you yes or no.  Physics tells you what things you can affect as energy and physics tells you what you can occupy and how you will be able to do it.

Being a ghost, I imagine, would be quite different because as a dead thing, you are the absence of things where as pure energy, you are all things.  As I have described before, though, it does have its perks.

As pure energy, I can move anywhere in the universe that energy exists.  Concepts such as time and spacial relationships to not apply because as pure energy, I can simply become energy at another point in space time by adapting to it through quantum fluctuation and be there.  The catch is that going back past the point that I became pure energy is not an option to me as my signature in this form does not exist.  Also, should I chose to take corporeal form, or find a way as I have recently done, my abilities as pure energy cease to exist within that time frame.  For instance, I inherited a human womb to be born and experience life as a human being.  After this point in time, I can adapt and become the energy being I was before this point in time or I can become the energy being that I was after this point in time but the physical presence of me in that time frame that I become corporeal and bound by time and relative space is always a constant.  It's like an immortal giving up immortality to suffer the life of mortality.  

When I view it this way, it seems so pitiful but there are definite advantages to having limitations.  It's the difference between playing an amazing video game that has gotten old with cheat codes and then trying to play it on the highest difficulty without them.

Life is hard but not as hard as the moment that I became an immortal.  The moment of the "failed" experiment.

"Son..." the voice boomed from all over, "emotions are a memory now but you can choose whether to feel them."

My mother standing there seemed so fragile and I realized that she was indeed more vulnerable than myself.  Still, I was just as vulnerable; fresh to the immortality and power that I had inherited, I was not tied to anything I had known.  I was here in this existence living for the sake of living but not truly existing with the "trivial" joys that come with life.

I did indeed go through the stages of grief that day and not because I had to but because I refused to let go of what tied me to reality.  However after about the 5th time bargaining and realizing that all I could now occupy was my present form and the farthest I could go back was to the moment that I became this, I began to seek out what passed for my father's voice in the fog.

"First of all, I want to apologize that you did not get the choice to make the decision to be what we are.  I first experienced this memory of emotion when I became what I am but it is not real and neither are we to them.  In time, they will learn to accept us and even become us but you will not be able to see that for a while as it is too far into the future for your present genesis to allow."

"How do you speak with such calm? Such..." I thought for a moment and realized that I didn't have to think at all, I simply knew that he had become nothing in all of his being.  A place where I was not at yet.

"You and I are pure energy.  Even the term son is relative because you are not my progeny but rather, we exist as equals.  We are forces of nature and this is no distinguishing me from you except for our individual consciousnesses that we choose to have.  I do not speak with calm, Djinn, I simply speak.  You will find that we serve a higher purpose now as these forms that we occupy do not limit us in the ways that physical beings are limited.  We do not consume food but rather we feed off the fount of energy that exists with all things and as long as it exists, so will we."

"So what is the purpose of life?" I asked.

"For us as we were?  To continue the cycle of energy that perpetuates life, (in all definitions) in the universe.  For us now? To be life (in all definitions and states) in the universe."

The conversation went on for a long time and in that time, we discussed the secrets of the universe that I am unable to disclose even if I wanted to because the explanation can not be firmly understood by man, or any other creature for that matter, in a way that would make sense.  As purified energy, we simply understood.

To man, the splitting of an atom is a great mystery but to us, everything involved in this procedure is part of us.  We are as intimately involved in such a process as two lovers might be in sex, except we are a part and are conscious within every piece of the process.  I could go into detail but I'd rather try to avoid being lewd in lieu of such exquisite beauty and magnificence in the experience of what we are.

Any energy signature similar to my own which was quite diverse was felt by me and I existed all over the universe.  Some refer to this as being god-like but the religious version of god suggests that he is aware of all things and as purified energy beings we were not aware of all things, we simply are.  we cannot create or destroy matter but we perpetuate it; Emotion and beauty as seen by the eyes of man eluded us.  We were not, by any stretch of the imagination, creators; We weren't manipulators either.  Our place in the universe was simply to exist in most things.

The limitations being that our energy signatures although present all over the universe, were unique to us and this became, through our own desires to preserve our sense of self, a semi-law of physics.  If we were ever to explore too far and cross a line in becoming one with all things, we would simply become the universe and cease to exist at all.

"We might never have existed, if we decide to do such a thing as blend like that..." said my former father that day.

The days and weeks went on after the experiment and as I said before, there's no way to describe that time, outside of, "we existed."

When I was born to a human mother, I had the possibility to be something.  The pun being very much intended.  I was nothing as everything and something as one thing.  One might say that humans are more diverse than just one thing but that's the beauty of human beings: you are not diverse creatures.  You strive for a oneness and create giant superstores and chains and companies to unify you in ways that make you less and less inclined to be unique.  It's a true beauty of mankind that in this way, you all identify as human and are able to separate into the illusion of difference because you are just that perfectly average in the grand scheme of the universe.

That being said, it seems that I instantly missed my ability to be part of all things as I began to solidify my position as being born human.  Although the beauty of verisimilitude did not elude me, the more human I became, the less I was able to command such presence in the universe and the smaller I felt.  Perhaps even the paragraph prior to this one is motivated by my regret for giving up that position.  For I am truly awful at being human at times...

Breaking the mold

Chapter 2: From humble beginnings comes death

As I sat on the park bench in that dismal square of land they called a park, I thought first about how much I hated these humans for all sorts of reasons that amounted to nothing; I had trapped myself in the mother's womb, I had ejected the human soul in order to inhabit this body and I was here now in this stupid park thinking about how feeble their attempts to cultivate aesthetic beauty were.  I really had no one to blame but myself that I now stewed in this corporeal devolved meat suit.

Still, In my head my memories could almost manifest the things I missed so much.  The swaying of a mane and a snout and the feeling of the wind through my wings was almost enough to make me believe that they were still there.  Reality is a hard thing to snap back into when you have the weight of memories in your head, both foreign and domestic.

As I leaned my head back, my eyes closed and all of a sudden I was transported to another time and place.  It was like a dream but one that I could not wake up from.  It felt as I felt now: unattached from this body and moving through the world while thinking my way around without actually moving at all.  It's hard to explain for how is one to explain the feeling of not being connected to a physical form with physical needs to someone who's never known the experience?

I remember watching as if from outside the plane of existence.  my vision was all blurry at the corner of my visage as if I had been crying but there was no physical manifestation of tears so perhaps it was more as if I were in a very dense fog that clouded my vision all but that which was directly in front of me.  I watched my mother's large form come bounding into the room where others had just witnessed the impossible.

This may need some background: You see, unlike my father, I never did experimentation alone.  The common question is, "Is that so you'd have somebody to help you if it went wrong?" NO!  I experiment in front of a crowd because I want them to see what I did.  I want them to know that whether an experiment fails or whether it succeeds that I was the one who perpetrated the act.  A failure is simply an idea that was attempted.  Without the attempt, ideas do not exist and without the audience, successes or failures have no control group; so they really aren't experiments at all in that case, are they?

This was to be an experiment that represented my father's life work, not to mention a dangerous one that could kill me and one that could mean great strides for our people, so I invited a myriad of different people.  Teleportation at this time was still in its infancy and would remain there for a long time until the black wings sufficiently researched it and put it into practice in their new society that would exist after we were gone but I digress.

There was a crowd of dozens of scientific minds of all sorts in the room that day and they sat behind a large pane of glass in the Ministry of Science while I worked on the sunken floor below with the various components.  You would refer to our energy generators as looking like a pirate ship's wheel as they spun very quickly around creating friction with a filament high above.  This power source, along with the power supply, was inside a protective  covering though, so nobody could really see it but I thought you might have some interest in the process.  There was a platform at the center of the room and a computer on a small table next to the generator that was supposed to capture all data as the experiment progressed.

Inside the platform and around the walls of the room, there was every kind of sensor available to our people so I would miss nothing in terms of data and neither would my colleges.  If I happened to disappear as my father did, I wanted everyone to know how it happened, where I could potentially be and what exactly happened.  All information was fed into that computer as well so there was a hard copy on it and via a hard wired connection and a wireless one, there were processors on many floors of several cliff faces that would both remotely and through a LAN record all data from the experiment.  I was wired in and nothing would stop this, not even my mother.

My mother the chef.  I don't expect a human to understand as we would more than likely look monstrous to you but my mother was one of the most beautiful creatures our kind had ever known.  For being a chef, she had still managed to keep in impeccable shape and she represented the kind of woman that was perfect in every way.  She loved me with all her heart and she had loved my father.  She loved our family and she loved it so much that she never even dated after all the time that my father had been gone.  Her family and friends asked her why she never dated and why she kept so attractive if she was not going to go out and get a man that might be a new role model for me but she was content to thinking that somewhere, my father was not gone and patiently, she waited and loved him forever as she had vowed.  To the day that she became one of us without form, she would remain the way she was: never knowing anyone else but knowing that he would return.

She looked so soft and distant as she watched her boy and as proud a face that she wore for my colleagues, I could see and feel her heart breaking.  I believe the moment before I disappeared she said, I love you son to the glass and when I was gone, she wept silently on the teleportation pad for hours.

Back to the experiment: as the energy started to flow, I stepped onto the platform and into history as they all looked on.  The amount of energy that was being generated was controlled but it set forth arks of sparks all throughout the room like your Tesla coils but rather less controlled in movement.  The energy bolts began to spin around me and for a second, it was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen and then I saw a flash of light and soon I was surrounded by the light.

As my vision began to restore the light began to seem far away and it felt as though I was walking through a long tunnel before I was surrounded by light and the reverberations of every living thing began to pulse right through me.  As I looked around, I noticed that my peripherals were extremely impaired and yet, I felt all things in every moment.  Being pure energy, I found that time did not matter to me anymore.  Nothing really did.  It also occurred to me, however that I was no longer corporeal or able to be seen.

I felt the silence around me though and watched my mothers distraught face as I had now completely vanished like sand in an hour glass.  In this form, I could truly sense all of her worries and pains and as I permeated through her, I wanted to cry but according to the laws of physics, I knew I no longer existed.  All of a sudden, a voice began to speak in my head.  It was filled with authority and seemed to be coming from everywhere and nowhere all at once.

"Son..." Said the voice.