OFFICIAL STATEMENT

The following message reads as dictated from Col. Ronald T. Harris of Baton Rouge LA to Stg. Michael Wayneright of Chicago IL. Their position at the time of dictation was unknown but is assumed as well into the country of Cambodia in Eastern Asia.

Boy... I mean Mikey... Mike or do you prefer Michael? In any case, I want you to copy this down as if I made it, y'see? I want this to be read to my kids, kids as if grandaddy was telling it to 'em, ya get me? Mike, what have I gotten myself into this time? Promise me you'll change that bloody outfit before you recount this tale. Oh I talk too much. Well, here goes:

Back in my war days, I used to tell the boys who were waiting to ship out, in officer's bar in Saigon: "you gonna wind up like Mikey," and I don't think any of 'em ever got it. You see, they'd all joke and clown about a lot but I only told this to the strong ones.

Of course, all they saw was that Mikey was a lower pay grade and they thought I meant that they would end up on the bottom of the barrel like Mikey: Doing the grunt work, digging out the latrine and making dirt pay to do it; what they didn't see is that the reason Mikey was assigned so many tasks, regardless of how much he made was because Mikey was the fastest to dig a trench or a fox hole; he was the quickest to go from cover to cover, he got the most consecutive gook kills and at the end of the war, he was the only one of those bastards still alive. That said, that last one is an achievement I couldn't even attain. I wish I had "been like Mikey" in that regard...

You take this message back to Saigon now. You survive and don't make a liar out of me. Be an example to my boys.

ADDENDUM:

I dug a fox hole just like he always told me I could and covered it with leaves. Then carried his body on my shoulders until I hooked up with an attachment at the border and we got on a bird to head back to Saigon for debriefing. On my way back, I had been hit in the calf by grenade flack but the wound wasn't as serious to me as it was to the medics. I was discharged to bring this letter home and am available for comment in Washington DC at REDACTED FOR PRIVACY REASONS.

Sincerely,
Stg. Michael M. Wayneright