Upon reading your latest manuscript, "The Metamorphosis," the only regret that I had was having been forced to read it as a part of our class.
So, as I am to understand, Gregor Samsa was such a pussy that he became stuck up in his own life's filth and slowly turned into a vermin? From the lucid description, we assume it's a cockroach, yes? WTF is a vermin anyway? Who says that?
Well, I just have to say, WEAK man. Seriously? A cockroach? Nothing cool can happen with a cockroach unless he's a BAMF Cockroach. Yeah! With a capital C and everything attached! He is Mr. BAMF Cockroach, to you! Unfortunately, Gregor Samsa was the emo cockroach who cried and then used his own tears ** ***********. I appologize for the last comment, apparently, that was a little rude, however I stand by my point and just to illustrate it, I give you this story of:
The Realization:
He sat by the fire in the dark house and pondered his existence. His hair bloomed from his head like a pharaohs hat and in the darkness, you couldn't tell weather his eyes glowed or if it was just the reflection from the roaring fire. He stood at 5'10" with a muscular football skeleton but for now, he was just sitting, hunched over, with a lost look in his eyes.
Strange things had been happening in the weeks prior to this night. As he would nap in his room, things would catch on fire but not burn. In his waking moments, he could swear that he'd feel his forehead skin cut but then it would heal and he didn't notice.
He lived with his sister and his parents in an old house in New Jersey. They noticed the change in his moods as he grew more and more weary of the pursuit to happiness. He began reading the bible obsessively and began to notice slight flaws in perfect logic that he would consider godly. Is it possible, he thought, that our god is not a god at all but merely an alien that helped us create religion in exchange for worship? What a strange thing to desire, he thought.
His sister came into the room and spoke, "John, are you ready for dinner? We're having eggplant parm again..."
She was blonde and small, an 8 year old with the silliness of an only child, in a house of four. She skipped and smiled with rosy padded cheeks and had her hair tied back in a pony tale.
"No, not right now Miri, I have to think and read," John said.
"Thou shalt not kill," said John. "Whoso sheddeth man's blood, by man shall his blood be shed: for in the image of God made he man. Genesis 9:6!" "He that believeth on the Son hath everlasting life: and he that believeth not the Son shall not see life; but the wrath of God abideth on him. John 3:36." "שמע ישראל ה 'אלוקינו, ה' אחד."
With such contradiction, he started to feel a loss of belief or a super belief...
His father came down an hour after his sister. A strapping man who had his days to sit at home until John's recent illness which caused him to scream and convulse violently while speaking in tongues. The dentists called it a bad tooth, the doctors called it fractured ribs, but what they didn't know was that the change had already begun.
"Hey John. How ya doing? Had a long day? How was work?" Said his father.
"Good dad, thanks. I made a lot of money today. You can keep the lights on," said John.
"Oh. Okay. Well glad to see you're doing well, then," said his father.
"yeah," said John.
His dad left the room, closing the door to read his newspaper.
Johns ribs had grown larger and the fractured ribs were now instantly healed in a bigger frame. The fat began to melt from his body and his temperature rose significantly as he stared at a thermometer that read 103.2. He laid down in his bed and attempted to go to sleep.
"That's all he does is read his newspaper, I did the work around here until he took control from me due to this illness. I should light them on..."
The lamp shade burst into flames and burned down to the wire.
John's mother came casually walking up to the door and knocked on it, softly.
"Are you smoking in there?" She said.
"No. No. I just had a little accident with the fire and some smoke went into the house," said John.
"Are you alright?" She said.
"Yeah ma, I'm fine," said John.
He heard her footsteps leave the general area and he began to open his mind in ways that weren't ever possible before, or to anyone else for that matter. At least no one human.
"I've known it for so long but failed to see it. If I can not grasp heaven and feel the reality of this war, then I must be..."
"A demon!" Said John as the fire came out of the fire place and covered him. It melted away his skin and left a tender more scale like skin underneath. Like that of the Green Anole but with a nice shade of red.
"So," said John, "this is what it's going to be like from now on, huh?"
His first decision as a transformed demon was to light the neighborhood on fire. He walked down the stairs with such speed, the human eye could not even see it. Even his little sister didn't notice the door opening or closing.
As he stood outside, he summoned a deep inner hatred and his head split open, spilling preternatural fire all over every house in the neighborhood. The houses burned viciously but from the top down so nothing would collapse as if the fire was a living thing.
For this was no ordinary fire, it went back and forth. At one moment, it would glow and look as if a beautiful light, then it would change and burn its victims mercilessly without their skin ever showing the results of a burn.
Screams of pain and agony at the light they can never grasp, came from the shells of houses that began to dwindle in the ground.
A squirrel came running into the street where he walked. You squirrels have tried to kill me more than once as you dart out in front of my car. A deer came running after the squirrel. They too burned. Strangely, the neighborhood cats and dogs were perfectly fine and lay on sofas in the middle of a fire pit that didn't burn at all but instead cased them in a bubble of sleep and comfort.
As the world around him burned, John thought to himself out loud. "So demon's are real, where's your god?"
Sincerely,
Dylan Paul
Tuesday, November 23, 2010
Saturday, October 30, 2010
The Real Mischief maker
He walked the quiet neighborhood looking for 32.
"32? 32? 25... I must be getting close," he thought out loud.
He found the house with no problems. The lights weren't even on. Don't they know it's the night before Halloween? It's mischief night. Time to have the real parties.
five years ago this night, Joey had watched his family burned alive in front of this house as he escaped unharmed by launching through the windshield of the car. He'd laid there on the road as he'd seen the car come out of the driveway at top speed and hit the side of his father's car. The impact had shattered the gas cap and let a spark into the fuel tank. They never had a chance.
He lit the tip of a cigarette and looked at the toilet paper as he began to drench it in gasoline. The soap even came off the windows as Joey covered it with gas.
In his haste, He forgot he had the cigarette lit.
He poured the last bit of it onto the welcome mat.
"Welcome home. Halloween parties are meant to stay in the house anyway. Just like you in this fire."
A small bit of ash fell from his cigarette and caught the mat on fire. His legs, covered in gas caught on fire as well.
He laughed hysterically as he walked away, still puffing on the dwindling cigarette that burned rapidly in the lapping flames that ate his body. As he sat down on the curb only his bones were left and thus the dead "Thinker" sat in front of the house, burned to death, that finally claimed the life it missed five years before with its own death.
"32? 32? 25... I must be getting close," he thought out loud.
He found the house with no problems. The lights weren't even on. Don't they know it's the night before Halloween? It's mischief night. Time to have the real parties.
five years ago this night, Joey had watched his family burned alive in front of this house as he escaped unharmed by launching through the windshield of the car. He'd laid there on the road as he'd seen the car come out of the driveway at top speed and hit the side of his father's car. The impact had shattered the gas cap and let a spark into the fuel tank. They never had a chance.
He lit the tip of a cigarette and looked at the toilet paper as he began to drench it in gasoline. The soap even came off the windows as Joey covered it with gas.
In his haste, He forgot he had the cigarette lit.
He poured the last bit of it onto the welcome mat.
"Welcome home. Halloween parties are meant to stay in the house anyway. Just like you in this fire."
A small bit of ash fell from his cigarette and caught the mat on fire. His legs, covered in gas caught on fire as well.
He laughed hysterically as he walked away, still puffing on the dwindling cigarette that burned rapidly in the lapping flames that ate his body. As he sat down on the curb only his bones were left and thus the dead "Thinker" sat in front of the house, burned to death, that finally claimed the life it missed five years before with its own death.
Friday, October 15, 2010
Imagine Alaska, Part two: Introduction to Alaska
As she hit branches and brush and soft vein like weeds on her way into the ground, she thought about what a long fall this was and how her head was still stinging with the pain of the initial blow.
Finally she hit the ground and began to cry. She cried and cried and cried until a little impish creature ran up to her and begged her to be silent.
"Alaska," he said, "for heaven's sake, please stop your crying and be still. You may have little fear of the creatures that haunt these woods but I am only two feet tall and with my toe being the way it is, I can't run like you can."
His ears stuck out and pointed in opposite directions like pixie ears. His eyes were slanted but much too big for his fat little face. His rather large cheeks and buck teeth, however, made Alaska laugh as he quickly hushed her. He did not have whiskers but his mustache hung down to his belt and his pointy goatee resembled that of an actual goat with the exception of it too, hanging down to where he tucked it into his pants.
His dirty, brown cotton pants had holes all over them and he had no shoes or shirt. His belt was made from some kind of leather but as Alaska looked closer she decided she didn't even want to know what kind of animal leather it was.
As she stood up, she noticed that her clothes had changed as well. Her pants had turned into a loin cloth and wrap of wolf leather and she wore a shirt made of golden leaves sewn together. Near her on the ground was a spear with a button on the side that she decided not to engage lest it rendered the spear less effective.
"Purple toe?" said Alaska.
"Well I'm not Koonham, leader of the vicious cat monsters..." said Purple toe, "and honestly, do you see the color of my toe? What else would I be called."
"You're a little grumpy grumpster aren't you?" said Alaska.
Purple toe didn't reply but instead made a very moody face with his top lip pointed up and it reminded Alaska of the look her mother gave her father when he was being smart with her. While doing this, he slowly raised his hand and lowered his head and pointed in the direction they were going to go.
They walked through the Forrest and Alaska noticed that the sharp blades of fanned out bush leaves seemed to be larger than the ones she'd remembered in the world above. As she looked above her, she also noticed sky; not the same one as at home but a looming lit up sky with a chain of stars that always shone; even when the sun was high in the sky.
Like a long forgotten memory, Alaska felt like she new this place. More unusual, though, was that she felt like she'd been here for a long time.
After an hour of walking through some of the strangest vegetation she'd ever seen, that all looked over-sized, she saw the silo and a group of green men harvesting unusually large cabbage...
"Where are we?" said Alaska.
"Why your home, of course," said Purple Toe, "the place you were born and raised to be queen of; the place that you think of something and it becomes reality through the magic in this land. Welcome to Alaska, Alaska."
Finally she hit the ground and began to cry. She cried and cried and cried until a little impish creature ran up to her and begged her to be silent.
"Alaska," he said, "for heaven's sake, please stop your crying and be still. You may have little fear of the creatures that haunt these woods but I am only two feet tall and with my toe being the way it is, I can't run like you can."
His ears stuck out and pointed in opposite directions like pixie ears. His eyes were slanted but much too big for his fat little face. His rather large cheeks and buck teeth, however, made Alaska laugh as he quickly hushed her. He did not have whiskers but his mustache hung down to his belt and his pointy goatee resembled that of an actual goat with the exception of it too, hanging down to where he tucked it into his pants.
His dirty, brown cotton pants had holes all over them and he had no shoes or shirt. His belt was made from some kind of leather but as Alaska looked closer she decided she didn't even want to know what kind of animal leather it was.
As she stood up, she noticed that her clothes had changed as well. Her pants had turned into a loin cloth and wrap of wolf leather and she wore a shirt made of golden leaves sewn together. Near her on the ground was a spear with a button on the side that she decided not to engage lest it rendered the spear less effective.
"Purple toe?" said Alaska.
"Well I'm not Koonham, leader of the vicious cat monsters..." said Purple toe, "and honestly, do you see the color of my toe? What else would I be called."
"You're a little grumpy grumpster aren't you?" said Alaska.
Purple toe didn't reply but instead made a very moody face with his top lip pointed up and it reminded Alaska of the look her mother gave her father when he was being smart with her. While doing this, he slowly raised his hand and lowered his head and pointed in the direction they were going to go.
They walked through the Forrest and Alaska noticed that the sharp blades of fanned out bush leaves seemed to be larger than the ones she'd remembered in the world above. As she looked above her, she also noticed sky; not the same one as at home but a looming lit up sky with a chain of stars that always shone; even when the sun was high in the sky.
Like a long forgotten memory, Alaska felt like she new this place. More unusual, though, was that she felt like she'd been here for a long time.
After an hour of walking through some of the strangest vegetation she'd ever seen, that all looked over-sized, she saw the silo and a group of green men harvesting unusually large cabbage...
"Where are we?" said Alaska.
"Why your home, of course," said Purple Toe, "the place you were born and raised to be queen of; the place that you think of something and it becomes reality through the magic in this land. Welcome to Alaska, Alaska."
Imagine Alaska, Part 1: A silly little girl
She lounged on a lawn chair made for two and her vibrant curls were perfectly wild. Her tiny eyes read, with tiny hands, a magazine about wolves. Every few minutes she'd voice her love for these malevolent eyed killers by saying, "ooooo! Look at his cute little ears!" She was five years old. The world was a magnificent place to her. Her name, was Alaska.
"Alaska! Come in for dinner!"
Alaska dug her forked garden trough into the dirt and made tiny holes in the lawn. Her father sat on the porch watching her on the front lawn and every once and a while, quietly smiling to himself. This was an oddity because many fathers would be slightly disappointed in their daughters for making holes in their lawn deliberately but Alaska was a little girl who was her daddy's girl.
"Alaska!"
Her mother called a second time and this time she heard her mother say to her father, "Come on, now. Please help me get her in the house? I've cooked her favorite meal."
Alaska came running up to the door and sat down at the table. She looked out on the dinner table and saw brussel sprouts on the stalk and began to imagine them being harvested by tiny alien farmers. She saw their helmets and antennae sticking out from the helmets and pictured them at about 4 to 5 inches tall. On her alien planet, brussel sprouts were the equivalent of cabbages but to us, they looked much smaller. She saw a silo where they kept the giant cabbages like basketballs in the hoop-star machine at Dave&Busters.
She smiled and thought out loud, "daddy?"
"Yes hunnie?"
"Can we go to Dave&Busters again? That was fun and I like the..."
She went on incoherently about the various rides that she liked but to the untrained ear, it just sounded like the rantings of a very cute, but quick talking 6 year old.
"Alaska," said her mother, "Eat your brussel sprouts."
"I will mommy," She said. "Did you know that brussel sprouts are really alien cabbages? And they have silos to keep them in but the evil cat monsters that live there knock down the silos and eat the peaceful brussel cabbage people..."
The whole table laughed. First her mother, then her father and then Alaska. Unfortunately for her, she had no idea as to why they were laughing but she laughed anyway because they were.
Her mother turned to her and said, "Ok sweetheart, half an hour more to play outside and then it's straight to bed with you. You're a grumpy little firecracker when you don't get your sleep.
"Ok mommmy," she said.
She walked outside and ran to the bushes.
"Out of my way, purple toe, I need to see too!" Said Alaska.
She looked out on the grass and pretended to see three looming goblins walking towards her.
"If I can't find a good place to get a steak, I'm just going to go out and hunt it with my teeth," said Alaska, pretending to be the first goblin.
"I'm going to look for little girls in my grotto!" said Alaska as the second goblin.
"I smell a little girl in that bush!" said Alaska as the third goblin as she screamed, turned around and ran into a tree root that opened up as she fell downward...
"Alaska! Come in for dinner!"
Alaska dug her forked garden trough into the dirt and made tiny holes in the lawn. Her father sat on the porch watching her on the front lawn and every once and a while, quietly smiling to himself. This was an oddity because many fathers would be slightly disappointed in their daughters for making holes in their lawn deliberately but Alaska was a little girl who was her daddy's girl.
"Alaska!"
Her mother called a second time and this time she heard her mother say to her father, "Come on, now. Please help me get her in the house? I've cooked her favorite meal."
Alaska came running up to the door and sat down at the table. She looked out on the dinner table and saw brussel sprouts on the stalk and began to imagine them being harvested by tiny alien farmers. She saw their helmets and antennae sticking out from the helmets and pictured them at about 4 to 5 inches tall. On her alien planet, brussel sprouts were the equivalent of cabbages but to us, they looked much smaller. She saw a silo where they kept the giant cabbages like basketballs in the hoop-star machine at Dave&Busters.
She smiled and thought out loud, "daddy?"
"Yes hunnie?"
"Can we go to Dave&Busters again? That was fun and I like the..."
She went on incoherently about the various rides that she liked but to the untrained ear, it just sounded like the rantings of a very cute, but quick talking 6 year old.
"Alaska," said her mother, "Eat your brussel sprouts."
"I will mommy," She said. "Did you know that brussel sprouts are really alien cabbages? And they have silos to keep them in but the evil cat monsters that live there knock down the silos and eat the peaceful brussel cabbage people..."
The whole table laughed. First her mother, then her father and then Alaska. Unfortunately for her, she had no idea as to why they were laughing but she laughed anyway because they were.
Her mother turned to her and said, "Ok sweetheart, half an hour more to play outside and then it's straight to bed with you. You're a grumpy little firecracker when you don't get your sleep.
"Ok mommmy," she said.
She walked outside and ran to the bushes.
"Out of my way, purple toe, I need to see too!" Said Alaska.
She looked out on the grass and pretended to see three looming goblins walking towards her.
"If I can't find a good place to get a steak, I'm just going to go out and hunt it with my teeth," said Alaska, pretending to be the first goblin.
"I'm going to look for little girls in my grotto!" said Alaska as the second goblin.
"I smell a little girl in that bush!" said Alaska as the third goblin as she screamed, turned around and ran into a tree root that opened up as she fell downward...
Monday, September 27, 2010
Seeing Forever
The quiet of the ocean was deafening as duke sat on the silky sand.
He looked out onto the ocean and thought about the shores opposite this one that he'd sat on and had this same moment picturing this same shore.
On other beaches, however, the towers of tokyo rose behind him; the minarettes of Kathmandu enclosed him like great looming dragons of protection. He pictured the children of the streets of hong kong being recruited by shady teenagers who brought their futures into a world of organized crime.
At last thought, he remembered the Seine and the woman he'd left behind on the land locked city of paris. His book sat beside him and dug into the sand with these and all his memories. The day grew colder and a pain in his left arm brought the darkness. What a wild life we have for it all to dwindle so stupidly. He took one last swig of kaluha and slumped over into legend.
He looked out onto the ocean and thought about the shores opposite this one that he'd sat on and had this same moment picturing this same shore.
On other beaches, however, the towers of tokyo rose behind him; the minarettes of Kathmandu enclosed him like great looming dragons of protection. He pictured the children of the streets of hong kong being recruited by shady teenagers who brought their futures into a world of organized crime.
At last thought, he remembered the Seine and the woman he'd left behind on the land locked city of paris. His book sat beside him and dug into the sand with these and all his memories. The day grew colder and a pain in his left arm brought the darkness. What a wild life we have for it all to dwindle so stupidly. He took one last swig of kaluha and slumped over into legend.
Wednesday, September 15, 2010
A quiet way to die
A silent hour exists from 3 to four in any small town. The deafening tone of a ringing fills the ears of any passerby as not even a pin can be heard for lack of people to drop it. Some call it the witching hour and others call it magic time. There's probably life going on somewhere. The bugs that never rest or some tumescent policeman sleeping in a car in the knowledge that his computer will beep if anyone speeds by and at this hour his odds on that not happening are good. So the world is asleep.
Those who are no good are are awake in their houses. Insomniacs, drug addicts and deranged, driveling derelicts, doomed to drone on about the daft, dark alleyways of devious criminals. It is in these minds that the shadows truly come.
The writer, with his pen, kills more people than the average murderer does in his life time. c'est la vie.
In his magnum opus, one such driveler realizes the number of men he's killed off in his fantasies and reality and fantasy begin to mesh like fusion in a reactor. His world begins to implode and become the things of his stories.
The shining, silver revolver sits on his desk like a bad cliché from film Noir.
At 3:35 AM, the witching hour, the gunshot makes a whisper and nobody knows.
Those who are no good are are awake in their houses. Insomniacs, drug addicts and deranged, driveling derelicts, doomed to drone on about the daft, dark alleyways of devious criminals. It is in these minds that the shadows truly come.
The writer, with his pen, kills more people than the average murderer does in his life time. c'est la vie.
In his magnum opus, one such driveler realizes the number of men he's killed off in his fantasies and reality and fantasy begin to mesh like fusion in a reactor. His world begins to implode and become the things of his stories.
The shining, silver revolver sits on his desk like a bad cliché from film Noir.
At 3:35 AM, the witching hour, the gunshot makes a whisper and nobody knows.
Monday, August 23, 2010
Dogmatic Retribution
He sat by the computer with the door open smoking a cigarette. His muscles ached because he hadn't eaten much in days. He just sat there and wrote down stories of deadly fires all day.
There are forces of fate that wander the earth with blood lust, and we don't even know they exist. This man was about to get the lesson that we are taught for the wrong thoughts and actions that attract dark evil.
"A warm fire brewed in the hearth and Julia went for the door.
This was no ordinary door, this was a cabin door from when they didn't make locks, only heavy wooden bars with metal on the ends.
Julia was an athletic girl but she still just barely lifted to let her boyfriend in."
In the back of his computer a tiny chip of a screw on a fan came off and made a noise, not unlike that of an airplane propeller. He didn't notice though, because he wrote his own death on the page with vigor and joviality.
"'Hey babe, you smell something?'
'No jack, I been smoking cigarettes in the house, now come here and kiss me.'
Jack picked up the wooden bar and struggled to get it on the latch and went straight to work. What he didn't know was that the metal had heated up and the door was slowly melting away."
The fan snapped and flew into an electrical wire that made the screen start to flicker but not completely go out.
"As the metal turned molten and the door burst into flames, They began to notice there might be a problem. As Julia ran into the living room, she noticed the entire outside of the house was on flames, burning its way inside."
The conflagration caught the rubber on his shoes but he was so intensely into the story that he actually believed he was dreaming and feeling the scenario.
"All of a sudden, every window burst at once. Shards of glass peppered every inch of the cabin, ricocheting and pounding even the smallest of niches. Jack and Julia fell to the floor, unconscious."
As his skin started to melt he began to notice that he was on fire but it was too late as he walked to the shower, turned on the shower, and left a skeleton on the tile.
"Jack and Julia awoke being burned alive. They leaped out through a shattered window and escaped with their major lacerations, third degree burns and psychological issues. Their recovery seemed endless but they were healed and they lived.
THE END.
There are forces of fate that wander the earth with blood lust, and we don't even know they exist. This man was about to get the lesson that we are taught for the wrong thoughts and actions that attract dark evil.
"A warm fire brewed in the hearth and Julia went for the door.
This was no ordinary door, this was a cabin door from when they didn't make locks, only heavy wooden bars with metal on the ends.
Julia was an athletic girl but she still just barely lifted to let her boyfriend in."
In the back of his computer a tiny chip of a screw on a fan came off and made a noise, not unlike that of an airplane propeller. He didn't notice though, because he wrote his own death on the page with vigor and joviality.
"'Hey babe, you smell something?'
'No jack, I been smoking cigarettes in the house, now come here and kiss me.'
Jack picked up the wooden bar and struggled to get it on the latch and went straight to work. What he didn't know was that the metal had heated up and the door was slowly melting away."
The fan snapped and flew into an electrical wire that made the screen start to flicker but not completely go out.
"As the metal turned molten and the door burst into flames, They began to notice there might be a problem. As Julia ran into the living room, she noticed the entire outside of the house was on flames, burning its way inside."
The conflagration caught the rubber on his shoes but he was so intensely into the story that he actually believed he was dreaming and feeling the scenario.
"All of a sudden, every window burst at once. Shards of glass peppered every inch of the cabin, ricocheting and pounding even the smallest of niches. Jack and Julia fell to the floor, unconscious."
As his skin started to melt he began to notice that he was on fire but it was too late as he walked to the shower, turned on the shower, and left a skeleton on the tile.
"Jack and Julia awoke being burned alive. They leaped out through a shattered window and escaped with their major lacerations, third degree burns and psychological issues. Their recovery seemed endless but they were healed and they lived.
THE END.
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